just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
