He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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