just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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