Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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