The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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