i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
