the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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