wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
