I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize