was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
