Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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