dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I could fuck to npr.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
