remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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