I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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