you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
