His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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