it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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