I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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