Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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