so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
