Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
