Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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