Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
