We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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