I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
