So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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