We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
