Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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