i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
