I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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