38 yer olds are good kisserssss
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
