did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
