What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
