what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
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There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
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I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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