I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Randomize
