The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
