YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
