i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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