I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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