ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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