Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
