The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
