no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
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We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
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I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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