i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
