East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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