well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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