then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
