Grow some girl-balls and come out already
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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