I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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