I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
