i barfeds in our rink
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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