Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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