You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
