you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
as a side note pls kill me
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize