He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
