you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
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Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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