at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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