Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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