You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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