are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
