there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
