She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
